Scene Openers

corrinalaw and I were discussing scene openers and breaks. I recently had a reviewer note I'd opened a new chapter with seven paragraphs of summary and, looking at the chapter I'm working on now, I realized that that's become a habit with me. The current chapter went four paragraphs before I got in any action or dialogue. The new scene opener is all dialogue and body language, with the exposition in the dialogue, and I think it reads much better. (It's probably helpful to those not familiar with Canum and Irie to note that Irie is disguised as a young man here, and the three of them are in a rented room in an unfamiliar city seeking relatives of Canum's and Conner's who may not want to be found.)

***

I studied my knuckles where they curled in my lap. "Elder."

Conner scowled. He released the bag containing my mother's necklace. "This is a very small room in which to waste several days."

"A very small bolthole, too, if we're run to ground here," I replied, my gaze on the door, the only entrance and exit. "Let us wander around and evaluate the situation."

I had an army to find, anyway, and intended to scout Taillard's contact before approaching him. In neither of those pursuits would Conner's presence be helpful.

Irie snorted. She adjusted her weaponry--this knife moved into better view, that dagger placed for quick draw, the handle of a third just glinting from the top of her boot--and then swapped her long traveling cloak for a jacket with its own weather cape. Long fingers brushed the red ribbons sewn into its shoulder seams, where they would flutter in the breeze of her movement and provide a handy distraction from her hands' pursuit of business.

As a finishing touch, she dug from her pack a small brass pot and dabbed its contents on her hands and neck and the lining of her coat. This past summer we'd discovered the salve she'd concocted to repel insects masked very effectively the obvious clue to her gender my lupine relations might pick up on. The scent of peppery mint was strong.

Conner, watching all this, pursed his lips and then, sighing, peeled off his own cloak. "If you are not back by sundown, I will go on my own."

I nodded, swallowing my worry for him. "We'll be back.”

***

It's certainly much more active, at any rate, and I'm still getting across the information I needed to have before the reader.

Better, yes. >;-]