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[clarentine]

Hey there, all you clever people, you Masters of the Universe in disguise, you manipulative masterminds. I need to borrow your brains.

I have an antagonist who has a problem. He wants to provoke a neighboring nation (let's call it Ess) into declaring war or something like it, but he doesn't want that provocation traceable to him; he has a king who'd be on his case in a big way if that got out. This antag happens to have control of the standing army in our little city-state, Gee. He also has friends in low places, people who will happily break a few heads just on his say-so. There are plenty of Ess's former citizens living in Gee. They like to hang out together but they don't live in a walled enclave or anything like that. There are also other citizens of other neighboring countries in the city to keep it from being too black and white.

What might you suggest this antag do to provoke the Esses into unwise action, so that the antag has an excuse to counterattack?

*****

(I need a new icon. My default is a cavalier, which was perfect for the time spent working on Cavalier Attitude, but this is a different book and a different protag and I really need something different. Does it tell you something about this rewrite I've undertaken that I'm looking forward to wasting time looking for that icon? *g*)

*****

Said rewrite - this book is In the Shape of a Man, called Shape for short (because no one in their right mind wants to roll the whole title out unless they have to, even if it is perfect in numerous ways for this book) - is coming along. The hardest thing I had to do was rewrite the first chapter, because there are some fundamental changes in my understanding of this story and they had to be there from the start. Now that I have that first scene, it becomes a matter of analyzing the succeeding scenes with an eye to how well they play with the book's new focus, determining what needs to change, and tweaking here and there until the words are aligned appropriately.

I had to cut a shitload of exposition out of my first scene before I was happy with it. It was important exposition, however, and it's taken me most of three subsequent chapters to get those background details back into the narrative.

In addition to unearthing additional external plot nuggets for my protag to fall over, I've got to go through each scene and make sure the attitude change is correctly reflected. I've discovered that this makes for an extremely tedious and frustrating time. It's difficult to hold the breadth of this story--in both its former and current configurations--in my mind's eye so I can compare and make changes in keeping with the new tone of the story. I think I am going to have to print the damned thing out and resort to pen-and-ink and highlighters to track those changes.

Kill me now, please.

*****

(Don't worry, jmeadows; I'm going to bake those cookies first. You should be able to smell the gingery-lemony-buttery goodness all the way up at your place. *g*)

Comments

[newroticgirl.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Are there citizens of Gee who also reside in Ess? Perhaps plant the seeds of some sort of rioting/protests? Then when the Ess folks get ticked and want to give the Gees the boot, the armies get involved?

[dedbutdrmng.livejournal.com]

Mock up an assassination attempt on the king in which all the assassins conveniently die? It's an oldie but a goodie.

[stillnotbored.livejournal.com]

If you want to provoke a war between the two countries, it will have to be an action big enough to anger people into war. It will probably have to take place inside Ess and be pulled off by someone from Gee.

Assassination of someone important or beloved in Ess would be one way. Your antag should be able to set up an assassination and not have it traced back to him.

What ever action you do set up would have to be traced back to someone in Gee for the war to make sense. Random acts aren't going to do it. It has to be big and an obvious insult or affront to the nation of Ess. The assassination I mentioned or a big treaty violation or raids across the border the crown of Gee ignores.

You know the world better than I do and I'm sure you'll think of something that works.

[clarentine]

There are citizens of Gee residing in a certain (ghetto, it is to be admitted) part of one of Ess's cities, but outsiders are not permitted elsewhere.

[clarentine]

::grin:: It's like you read his mind. What else has he got in there?

[clarentine]

He's just instigated the firebombing of one of Ess's churches inside Gee. Now everyone's starting to get jumpy, even the other foreigners, and the antag is considering what else he can do to egg the Esses into confrontations.

Because of course there must be confrontations to up the tension.

::pokes antag::

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

And when you die, I will have all the cookies for meeeee!

;)

[clarentine]

The ones I'm not going to eat tonight and share out (in teeny tiny pieces) tomorrow. *g*

::sets out cookies on plate just for friends::

[brni.livejournal.com]

Assassinate one of Gee's King's trusted ministers, blame it on Ess's operatives, move the troops to the border and demand Ess's apology and reparations in excess of what Ess's economy can sustain (or that are extremely humiliating to Ess).

[clarentine]

I've got an assassination attempt scheduled, but not of a minister. That might work very well, especially as one of the local guilds has a reputation as assassins and is chock full of foreigners.

And if I can provoke some low-level antagonism, too, on both sides....

[footlingagain.livejournal.com]

I think I am going to have to print the damned thing out and resort to pen-and-ink and highlighters to track those changes.

Ouchie. I feel your pain.

Hopefully a bit of assassination and associated skullduggery will stop it from digging in too much *g*

[clarentine]

We can hope, but I'm not making any bets.